10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore.
09. We’re cruising at an altitude of…ah, hell, I don’t know.
08. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
07. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!….JUST KIDDING!
06. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep ‘em coming!
05. This is…uh…this is…uh…your…hmmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
04. Passengers on the left side of the plane — does that engine sound funny to you?
03. Welcome aboard flight 109 — you bunch of jerks!
02. Good God, Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops — is the intercom on?
01. We’ll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or the other.
16 responses so far ↓
Hammer // September 29, 2006 at 6:44 pm |
Or this:
/Slim Pickens voice/ Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader’s mule, the radio is gone and we’re leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we’d need sleigh bells on this thing… but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain’t gonna spot us on no radar screen!
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 6:53 pm |
LOL…now that’s a dire situation right there!
Dazd // September 29, 2006 at 6:57 pm |
I’m home now. Thank you for all the well wishes and support!
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 7:01 pm |
Dazd….welcome back! No problem, I know you’d do the same. Are you glad to be home again?
Michelle // September 29, 2006 at 7:10 pm |
#10 should also ID the pilot as a panicked Terrell Owens. Ok, you can throw the tomatoes at me now. It was a bad, bad attempt at a joke…
LOVE the list, MRS JGB. Really makes me want to fly the friendly skies. LOL.
dragonlady474 // September 29, 2006 at 7:35 pm |
Hey, you should have listed the things our pilot said to us going to Florida that one year.
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 7:38 pm |
I can’t even think of those without breaking out into a sweat and calling my therapist!
KeesKennis // September 29, 2006 at 7:46 pm |
“Pass me the pipe before you start smoking the wood”
Is also scary coming from the captain.
KeesKennis // September 29, 2006 at 7:47 pm |
Hey DaZd, Im holding for you.
Michelle // September 29, 2006 at 8:11 pm |
What did he say? “We’ve had a slight flight change…we’re going to Cuba?”
Michelle // September 29, 2006 at 8:11 pm |
Please tell me it wasn’t Dan Rather subbing for a pilot.
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 8:17 pm |
No Michelle….LOL. We were flying through some stormy weather and the plane was being bounced around like crazy. The pilot came on and said “Ladies and Gentlemen we’ve tried flying above the storm and we’ve tried flying below it and nothing seems to be working, but if we can think of anything else to try we’ll let you know. Please stay in your seats and keep your seatbelts on for your safety”.
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 8:22 pm |
Michelle, the funny thing is there was a man sitting in front of us who smelled like a brewery (He seemed totally oblivious to our plight) and after the pilot said what he said I told Drago that if the plane didn’t straighten up soon I was going to go slap that guy down and take his drink!
Laura // September 29, 2006 at 8:28 pm |
As the plane comes in for landing on the runway and starts to ascend again: “folks, we’ll need to take a detour over the ocean….” That actually happened to us at LAX, the plane was just about to land when they started ascending again. It was one rough landing the second time!! I had these white knuckles that stayed that way a day or two.
These were hilarious!
btw, you want an OCTOPUS photo??!!!! don’t make me dive down in the water, I swear…
Michelle // September 29, 2006 at 8:35 pm |
OMG—the turbulence alone would have panicked me. You both have a such good sense of humor.
mrsjosegoldbloom // September 29, 2006 at 8:57 pm |
Laura…grab your snorkel!