GOLDBLOOM’S PADDED CELL

Entries from May 2008

My Lab results are back and…….

May 30, 2008 · 23 Comments

My total cholesterol has dropped 20pts…woohoo! I still have more work to do, but it IS nice to know that what I’ve been doing is paying off. I would be ticked off if I gave up bacon for nothing. :)

 I’ve also been exercising more and taking Centrum Cardio. Centrum cardio is the only over the counter item that has proved to reduce cholesterol. I was skeptical, but I didn’t have anything to lose so I started taking it in February…now I’m a believer. The doctor has been monitoring my cholesterol for 3 years and this was the first drop after several years of increasing levels.

My results are as follows:

  • Total Cholesterol     208 was 228 (ideal is under 200 or 175 with family history of heart disease)
  • HDL (good chol)     50 was 64 (above 50 is desired, under 40 indicates inc. risk of heart disease)
  • LDL (bad chol)     132 was 133 (Under 130 is desired, under 100 if know heart disease or diabetes)
  • Triglycerides     129 was 135 (Under 130 is desired)
  • blood glucose     86 was 88 (normal is between 70 – 100)

I know what you’re thinking “what a boring ass post”…sorry, but I did say I would post my lab results when they came in. I promise my next post will be full of sex, violence, strong language, and disturbing content…So basically I’ll be writing about dragonlady. :)

Categories: Uncategorized

Can You Picture It?

May 29, 2008 · 8 Comments

I found this meme over at Captain’s place. The rules are pretty simple, answer the questions using pictures. So if any of you feel like trying go for it…Keesie this one is right up your alley!

1. What is your current relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?

3. Who is your favorite band/singer?

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What kind of pets do you have?

6. Where do you live?

7. Where do you work? (ok this isn’t my kitchen, but I can dream can’t I?)

8. Who do you look like?

And SOME people say I look like this…don’t they Michelle?

9. What do you drive?

10. What did you do on Saturday?

11. What did you do on Sunday?

 

12. What is your favorite network TV Show?

13. Describe Yourself.

14. What is your favorite candy?

Categories: Uncategorized

Can you believe it????

May 29, 2008 · 7 Comments

It’s already Wednesday and I haven’t posted since last Friday…okay I hear that mumbling in the back of the room! Well things have been crazy here, especially with school winding down for the year. Lil Jose, & Jeremy’s last day was today, and Katira’s is tomorrow. I’m sooooo relieved that summer break is here, I’m soooo ready to start sleeping in till 6:30am. It’s only an hour of extra sleep, but I’m totally excited about it. As a matter of fact I’m probably more excited than a grown woman should be about such things.

Katira’s boyfriend (Corey) graduates this year and on Saturday she’ll be attending a sleepover/camp-out/live rock-band type of party with Corey’s family. Sounds like a great time…why am I soooo nervous? Jose threatened to kick both their @sses if they didn’t behave, I wonder if they’re scared?

The boys have been having accidents the past couple of days. Jose II has had 2 bike wrecks, and Jeremy has had two wrecks on his razor scooter….what the heck is up with that? Thank goodness neither one has been hurt badly, they’re just banged up a little bit.

Katira is dog sitting for my parents schnauzer Dusty while they’re on vacation. OMG I’ve never seen so much gratuitous licking in all of my life. Good God you would think Hollywood should be satisfied licking himself, but apparently NOT! Dusty actually gets mad at me when I make Hollywood stop and he’ll start following me around barking at me. I’m considering muzzles for the both of them. Well that’s all I’ve got for now…I’ve got to get outta here…lickety split!

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Hand Jive

May 23, 2008 · 5 Comments

Following are just a few hand gestures and their meanings…there were some I wanted to put on here, but my better judgement won out. Sooo if you’re interested in looking up any more of these hand signals here’s the link for Wikipedia where I got this information.

Bang bang

This gesture mimes a handgun.

This gesture mimes a handgun.

The “bang bang” gesture is performed by raising the fist with the index finger and thumb extended. The index finger points at the recipient. The thumb is then brought down on top of the fingers. This imitation of the action of a revolver pistol is often meant to represent a handgun in children’s games. It may also be used menacingly to mean “I’m gonna kill you”, or simply as a playful greeting. The middle finger is often also extended to widen the “barrel”.

Texas Tech fans use a form of this salute, which they call “Guns up” (fingers pointed upward), to cheer their team. Also, the “bang bang” performed with both hands was a signature gesture of professional wrestler Mick Foley while he was in his “Cactus Jack” persona.

Also, if the thumb and middle finger are used to click, and the thumb the pointed upwards to form the gun, this can also be interpreted as a greeting.

A two-handed version of the same gesture can be used to indicate sporting/business success or sexual conquest (frequently accompanied by a syncopated “pow-pow”, esp. in a posh British accent).

A clenched fist.

A clenched fist.

A raised, clenched fist is used as a gesture of defiance by a number of groups. It is usually considered to be hostile, yet without any sexual, scatological, or notionally offensive connotations. It is especially associated with Communists and with other nationalist or ethnic revolutionary or would-be revolutionary movements, and with the Black Power movements of the 1960s in the United States. When singing The Internationale, the Marxist anthem, it is customary to make this gesture. A clenched fist raised quickly up and down and then punched in some direction also signifies a military call for a heavy weapons team to close on the gesturer or to move or open fire in the direction indicated by the punch. In US military, the right fist raised up with a straight arm, with the finger side towards the receiver, is an order for the person to stop immediately – to “freeze”.[1] American Football referees use a raised fist to indicate that a team faces fourth down. This gesture can also be used to mean “I am angered or offended by what you have done.”

The finger” is a very common offensive hand gesture.

“The finger” is a gesture consisting of a fist with the middle finger extended. It appears to be universally understood as “f**k you”. It is certainly thousands of years old, being referred to in Ancient Roman literature as the digitus infamis or digitus impudicus. Performing this gesture is also called “flipping the bird” in countries where “the finger” is used. In other regions, “flipping the bird” refers to the raising of the middle and index finger with the back of the hand directed at the recipient. It can also mean “Victor” (see V Sign, below) in some countries, which is not to be mistaken for the “Peace” gesture, which is done with the palm facing the recipient of the gesture, but in Britain and some other countries it is an offensive gesture, equivalent to “the finger”. George W. Bush can be seen making the gesture while he was the Governor of Texas, while goofing off before beginning filming of a public address. This is also known as a one finger salute, or international salute. Will Smith as Agent J in Men_in_Black_(film) rubs his forehead using this gesture when told “When you grow up” you can have a standard neuralizer.

Former professional wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin used the finger quite frequently in WWE shows. He raises both of the fingers to the crowd as a way of saluting to them. Also, he gestures the finger at his opponent before kicking them in the stomach and performing the Stone Cold Stunner.

Comedian Dane Cook parodied the gesture with his “Super Finger” gesture, which consists of raising the middle finger, ring finger, and thumb on the same hand while lowering (or curling) the index and little fingers. It is meant to be a more “powerful” version of “the finger”.

The middle finger is also used to represent the number four when one counts in the binary system using one’s fingers.[4]

When this gesture is made with the palm facing forward, it is known to Chaotes practicing Lovecraftian magick as the “Sign of Kish”. Another Lovecraftian sign is the “Sign of Koth”, which consists of fully extending the index finger, middle finger, ring finger, and little finger, while the thumb is tucked against the flat of the hand.

 

The

The “shaka” sign is a common greeting in beach and surfer culture.

The “shaka” sign is a common greeting gesture often associated with Hawaii, California, and beach and surfer culture in general. It consists of extending the thumb and little finger while keeping the three middle fingers curled, and is often described colloquially as the “hang loose”or “chilax” gesture. It is similar to American Sign Language letter “Y“, where a fist is also made with only the thumb and little finger extended. The sign is often followed by waving as a greeting or acknowledgment. It can be used when driving as a signal of thanks to other drivers (for example, someone who stopped to let another driver onto the road from a driveway).

The “shaka” sign is also the greeting gesture for members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. which is the “phi” sign. All African-American Greek fraternities and sororities have hand greeting gestures.

 

Talk to the hand (Cagliari)

Talk to the hand (Cagliari)

This gesture is used as a physical interjection to express indifference or contempt and interrupt what someone is saying. The arm is extended with the hand vertical and palm facing and centred around the face of the other individual.

Pollice Verso by Jean-Léon Gérôme, 1872 is the immediate source of the

Thumbs up, thumbs down

A closed fist held with the thumb extended upward or downward is a gesture of approval or disapproval, respectively. These gestures have become metaphors in English: “My boss gave my proposal the thumbs-up” means that the boss approved the proposal, regardless of whether the gesture was made — indeed, the gesture itself is unlikely in a business setting.

The source of the gesture is obscure. Though a favorite of Hollywood ’swords and sandals’ epics, where the “thumbs down” symbol means that the loser in a gladiatorial combat should be put to death, recent research suggests the meanings of the symbols have changed over the years. In 1997, Professor Anthony Philip Corbeill of the University of Kansas concluded that the thumbs up actually meant “Kill him,” basing his assertion on a study of hundreds of ancient artworks. The crowds would point their thumbs “up”, the thumb pointing to the throat which held a similar meaning to moving one’s thumb across their throat. Thus, the “thumbs up” was an approval of the gladiator’s request to kill his vanquished foe rather than a vote to allow the defeated to remain alive. Corbeill wrote that a closed fist with a wraparound thumb was the indication for a gladiator’s life to be spared.

Additionally, Desmond Morris’ Gestures: Their Origins and Distributiontraces the practice back to a medieval custom used to seal business transactions… Over time, the mere sight of an upraised thumb came to symbolize harmony and kind feelings… The gesture’s popularization in America is generally attributed to the practices of World War II pilots, who used the thumbs up to communicate with ground crews prior to take-off. American GIs are reputed to have picked up on the thumb and spread it throughout Europe as they marched toward Berlin.”

More recently, these gestures are associated with movie reviews, having been popularized by Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert in their televised reviews — the thumb up meaning a positive opinion of a film; the thumb down meaning a negative one. One or two thumbs up, often held over the head, may also be used by athletes in celebration of a victory.

“‘Thumbs up’ traditionally translates as the foulest of Middle-Eastern gesticular insults — the most straightforward interpretation is ‘Up yours, pal!’ The sign has a similarly pejorative meaning in parts of West Africa, South America, Russia, Iran, Greece, and Sardinia, according to Roger E. Axtell’s book Gestures: The Do’s and Taboos of Body Language Around the World.”

Categories: Uncategorized

May 23, 2008 · 4 Comments

Categories: Uncategorized

Animal Tales

May 21, 2008 · 2 Comments

I can’t even get my cockatiel to say “hello” let alone our frigging address. Is there a trick to it or do I just have a stubborn ass bird?  Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address

Like I’ve always said keep behaving like an ass and you’ll end up behind bars some day. Mexican donkey jailed for ornery behavior  Don’t these Mexican police have anything better to do then arresting the local livestock? Who has to pay for the donkey’s feed? Did he get his one telephone call?

You know there’s always a lot of “bull” running rampant around the Goldbloom house, but nothing like this.  Like a bull in a china shop, but worse   I can’t believe they didn’t offer him any snacks or refreshments…what rude hosts.

Categories: Uncategorized

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

May 21, 2008 · 5 Comments


A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
Husband stalking around with a fly swatter “What are you doing?”
She asked. “Hunting Flies”
He responded.

“Oh. ! Killing any?”
She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied..

 

 

 

 

Intrigued, she asked.
“How can you tell them apart?”
 

 

He responded,
“3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.”

 

 

 

Hat tip to reader Michelle. She comes up with some funny stuff and would do great with her own blog…hint hint!

Categories: Uncategorized

The Name 4 game from reader Michelle.

May 20, 2008 · 11 Comments

Can you name 4????

A) Four places I go over and over:

  • gas station
  • grocery store
  • insane
  • my own little world

B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly):

  • Jose
  • The person who is trying to entice me into getting an…ahem…organ enlargement?!
  • The nice man from Nigeria who needs my help and will pay me BIG money!
  • ProFlowers

C) Four of my favorite places to eat:

  • Ruby Tuesdays
  • Chili’s
  • Any decent chinese restaurant
  • Gray’s bros. Cafeteria 

D) Four places I would rather be right now:

  • Alabama
  • In bed
  • On tour with Aerosmith :)
  • Having a labotomy

E) Four TV shows I watch over and over:

  • Survivor
  • Law & Order
  • So you think you can dance
  • Everybody loves Raymond

 F) Four people I want to do this Meme (but anyone who wants to can go for it):

  • Elvis
  • Nostradamus
  • Cartman from southpark
  • Kim Jung IL

 

Categories: Uncategorized

Raaitlaaiking like a mofo for Keesie!?!?

May 20, 2008 · 4 Comments

Here is an excerpt from kees site. It explains a little bit about what’s going on, but to be totally honest I’m still a little confused, I think Kees has some kind of jungle fever or something. Anyway read the following and you can also check out his site for the rest of the rambling rules.

“Tuesdays = Raaitlaaik = for the first graders, laaik the States = Write a post like someone on your Blogroll.
As I am the only living person that puplished a disagreement (I mean still living) with
Bane, Goldbloom and Froth, I hereby dare them to confront me here, on Tuesday.
“We will now sing from Hymm number so and so for the good life that KeesKennis lived”
Sela

So I will be doing:
Raaitlaaik Sweething
Raiitlaaik Bane
Raaitlaaik Goldbloom
Raaitlaaik Froth
And I hope they will be doing WriteLike KeesKennis (that is if they can get Drunk/Dumb/Stupid/Smart enough) “

Ok those were the rules and now that you’re as totally confused as I am I will attempt to blog like kees…wait maybe I SHOULD go drink a pint of rum or something first….BRB!

Keesie must explore jungle make sure all is good! Oops first me must put on loin cloth…my bad.
 
 

Hoosierboy I found your snake…Could you please come get it.

This little piggy went wee wee wee all the way back home again.

Dragon learns to be careful when telling others to “bite me”.

Well there you have it my attempt to blog like keesie & I know it was a lame attempt, but I don’t think I had enough alcohol. I’m supposed to pick four people to do this, but I remembered that Keesie also said this “Keesie does not laaik rules, so please break them allways.” Okay Kees, who am I to not follow directions….Sooo if any of you are wanting to Raaitlaaik me feel free to join in the fun, but be sure to link to Kees. Ciao!

Categories: Uncategorized

And then there was Monday!

May 19, 2008 · 4 Comments

Well what a weekend…busy, busy, busy! I spent the weekend sorting through the piles of paper crap that we seem to have accumulated over the past 23 years. Just when I thought I was finished with one pile I’d discover another one tucked away in some dark, long forgotten corner. Or I’d open a drawer and discover folders and stacks of paper…Good God how does one let this happen? Of course then there was the filing cabinet to go through and clean out. I’m still amazed that I was able to get though it all without 1 paper cut, although I did suffer eye strain.

It ended up being a very emotional process for me though, because I happened upon old school papers from the girls, letters that Jose and I had wrote each other before and shortly after we were married, and then the show stopper was the letter my biological dad had wrote me after I found him. I didn’t know my biological dad until I was 35, I found him through the internet. It’s a good thing I found him when I did, because 10 months later I got the call that he had died from a heart attack brought on by an aneurysm. Anyway thepaper problem has been handled and the trash men were probably cursing us this morning when they saw the mound of garbage bags awaiting their arrival.

Ahhh…but the paper piles were just a part of my weekend, there was also the cleaning of my closet. I had clothes in there I hadn’t wore since 1992! BTW has anyone ever noticed that when you clean out your closet you end up with this HUGE pile of stuff to take to goodwill, but your closet still seems just as full as it did before you started???? WTH…how can this be? Oh well at least I’ll be helping out the shoppers at Goodwill whom I’m sure will be fighting over my coveted items. :)

Just writing about my weekend is making me tired. I should go now, I think I need coffee, and plenty of it! Have a great Monday everyone.

 

Categories: Uncategorized