There is nothing quite like dealing with an angry customer. Especially when that person is a f___king, S_nofa_itc__ing, G__dam__ed, A__hole . You envision yourself jumping acrossed the counter and putting the vulcan death grip on their larynx to stifle their perpetual bitching, but you stand there smiling and nodding your head in agreement. Your head is spinning from the non-stop stream of BLAH coming from their mouth. You just want to say, “excuse me don’t you think it’s time to visit your proctologist and have whatever it is causing you to behave this way removed from your big fat arse!”. Yet you find yourself saying, “I’m sorry mam, I’ll see what I can do for you.”. Then you finally think you’re getting to even the score a little bit when they want you to go against company policy just for THEM, and you say “sorry I can’t do that for you mam, it’s against our policy”. But NO, then they want to speak to someone above you…that someone who told you ” We’ll never budge on this policy”. Guess what they budge, and the big f___king, A__hole who needs to see a proctologist walks away feeling happy as a clam. You on the other hand need a valium, and a Mike’s hard lemonade! God I need a new job!!!



  1. rule #1 – the customer is always right.

  2. uh oh… I’ll just clear away the furniture so nothing gets broken. Nice knowing you anonymous.

  3. Rule#2: The customer is always an a__hole who is out to cause you grief.

  4. What is a Customer?

    A Customer is the most important person in our business.

    A Customer is not dependent on us – we are dependent on him.

    A Customer is not an interruption of our work – he is the purpose of it.

    A Customer does us a favor when he calls – we are not doing him a favor by serving him.

    A Customer is part of our business – not an outsider.

    A Customer is not a cold statistic – he is a flesh-and-blood human being with feelings and emotions like our own.

    A Customer is not someone to argue or match wits with.

    A Customer is not a person who brings us his wants – it is our job to fill those wants.

    A Customer is deserving of the most courteous and attentive treatment we can give him.

    A Satisfied Customer is the lifeblood of your company

  5. Who the hell are you the ghost of Sam Walton? Why don’t you take your inspirational speech and hit the road with it!

    Oh I know who you are…you’re one of THEM aren’t you!!!!

  6. It doesn’t look like you’ll be a candidate for “employee of the month” anytime soon…


  7. “The ramblings of MrsJoseGoldbloom”
    That’s the name of my site, and that is what I do…ramble about things that are on my mind. So I can ramble all the DING DONG day about anything I wish, and if you don’t like what I happen to be rambling about you can just SKIPPITY DOODAH right past it.
    Oh and by the way, I’m not mean to my customers, notice I said I’m thinking these things while smiling and saying “yes mam”.

    If I ever do win employee of the month, I’ll bring the certificate home and use it for tp.

  8. I think there should be an award for the people who have to put up with nagging customers. They could call it the “Jeebus Chreeist I can’t believe I made it” award.

  9. ROFL! Hey, don’t steal my lines or I’ll sue your ass for plagarism!

  10. My Ass had nothing to do with it!

  11. lol I printed these comments and I’m going to show it to my Law Professor.

  12. Oh that’s just wonderful!

  13. omg, he’s going to laugh his butt off

  14. This post has been removed by the author.

  15. You want to know who my “customer service” idol is??? The Soup Nazi…Now Get the hell out, No soup for you!

  16. It’s only sometimes I have to deal with customers and it sucks when you get one like that.

    If I had to deal with that full time, they’d be carrying me out, cause I’d strangle somebody.

    There is absolutely no reason why anybody with a gripe has to speak to the personnel that way. That should be the exception and not the norm. And no one should ever have to put up with that.

    I always say to myself, one day that a-hole is going to come up against someone meaner than her/him,[cause there is somebody for everybody who thinks they’re a badass-it’s called life in the big city] and they’ll be taught a lesson in the school of hard knocks.

    That’s usually what it takes to rehabilitate an asshole. Teach them what humility is.

  17. Jeez–all that pent-up anger…you need a hug. Maybe some of your cohorts at Meijer who can process film correctly will give you one.

  18. Mr Dragon…IS THAT YOU!!!

  19. ROFLMAO!!!! We got you!! hehehehe ::dances around::


    I figured it was him or it really was Sam Walton’s ghost. LOL

  21. Did this have anything to do with my “Practical jokes wanted” story?

  22. It was all part of “the plan”.

  23. Oh yeah…well “The Plan” sucked!

  24. No soup for either of you…now go!

  25. hey… wait a minute
    what kind of soup?

  26. 🙂 I love my Hubby, he funny, he make me go ha ha.

  27. I think you’re corrupting him!

  28. Let me settle this once and for all – The customer is always wrong.
    No matter what.
    You may have to treat them like they’re right but they’re not, they’re always wrong.
    I hate customers.
    I wish we didn’t have any customers.
    Everyone at my bank had to take this seminar about customer service, it was a film called “Give Them The Pickle” about how, if the customer asks for an extra pickle, regardless of your policy not to give them one, you give them one anyway.

    I’ve got a pickle I’ll give them.
    F-ing customers.

  29. LOL! I think one of the funniest things ever is when my Sister managed a video store one Christmas. She was dressed as an elf (squirrely little shoes and all) and had to deal with an irate customer lolol.

  30. Hey DL…do you always have to bring that up? GEEEZ!

    I agree Angry “LET”S GIVE THEM THE PICKLE!!!”.

  31. the pickle….no comment 🙂

  32. hey…what happened to the soup?


  34. that’s no way to treat a customer!

  35. i ahte to break up the loving spirit but you mispelled a word in your blog. Ma’am is spelled ” Ma’am.” thank you and goodnight i’ll be here all week

  36. rofl! I saw that she had but just didn’t mention it lololol.

  37. Now there will be NO SOUP FOR YOU!

  38. soup nazi!

  39. That was the best put-on ever. Makes Punk’d look positively stupid. By the way, Mrs. JG, I agree with you wholeheartedly about customers. IMO, the customer is NOT always right, and uses this phrase to their abusive advantage. I think all clerks should have the right to carry guns. Ha ha.

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