My Calgon Moment

Today started out promising. I had little house work to do and very little laundry, so I was looking forward to some nice “ME” time before the kids got home from school. Well here’s how that worked out:

8:00 am: walked the boys to the bus stop.

9:00 am: Say good bye to Jose.

9:00-11:30 am: Do said housework & laundry.

11:30-12:30: Jose comes home for lunch and I spend an hour picking up after him.

Oh yeah…I now have a couple of hours before the brats…I mean kids get home. I think I’ll make a nice cup of java w/steamed milk and top it with some flavored whipped cream. Then I’ll do some surfing on the net.

12:30-1:00: Makes java, burns steamed milk, mixer accident showers kitchen in cream…finally after 1/2 an hour I walk out of the kitchen with my perfect java!

While walking to the computer (singing walking in a winter wonderland) I stub my toe, and spill my perfect java on me and the carpet and my golden retriever (damned dog)! :::insert some major obscenities here::: I head back to the kitchen.

1:00-1:30: Cleans up java and makes a second cup (yes I know I’m a glutton for punishment).

I change my clothes and head for the computer avoiding all obstacles and traps that are in my path. When I finally make it to the computer my eyes can hardly believe what I’m seeing. The blue screen of death….NOOOOO! Oh well screw it! I’ll just read a book. So I head downstairs, grab a book off the shelf and as I’m trying to sit down my golden retriever jumps on me and I spill my perfect java all over me, the chair, my book, and my golden retriever (damned dog). I clean up the chair, throw away the book, chain out the dog, and head for my bathroom. I’ve pretty much decided by this point that I’ll just $#%^$ forget the java and get a nice relaxing bubble bath. I gather some scented candles and get my radio and head for the tub. I’m saying my little “wusah….wusah” and finally starting to calm down. Then I pull back the shower curtain and there’s the tub half full of dirty water. I think…Okay somebody didn’t drain the tub….noooo….the tub has a major &^$%#ing clog. :::insert more obscenities than you’ve ever heard in your life here::: I retrieve the plunger from the closet and proceed to plunge the crap out of the drain as I have encountered the clog from hell. After what seems like an eternity the clog breaks and I get the nice swirling action in the water. Then that very instant I hear an all too familiar sound….The school bus pulling up out front!


10 responses to “My Calgon Moment

  1. Reading that I laughed so hard I almost spilled my perfect cup of coffee on me… but…I didn’t. 🙂

  2. Oh come on, that’s happened to me a thousand times.
    Except I don’t have kids or a husband or a dog. Oh, and I don’t drink coffee.
    Oh, and I don’t take bubble baths.
    But we do have one thing in common – a humungous amount of cursing.

  3. Yes, the cursing came from DL…she was a bad influence on me.

  4. oh WHATEVER! You curse much worse than I do! It’s time to bring Jose on so he can tell everyone that you’re the bad influence! 🙂 wench

  5. Well I just asked Jose and he said you were definitely the bad influence! 🙂 Hag!

  6. yeah, yeah…that’s what YOU said he said. uhhhh yeah

  7. Well now I know what to do when I get home. Talk my mothers leg off util she gives me some money.^_^.

  8. The DragonLady is a bad influence on everybody, it seems…

  9. That’s it, go ahead, gang up on the dragon!

  10. btw Fester, just for that I’ll be marking that flame thrower off the ol’ Christmas list. Now where’s that eraser??

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