Okay coffee maker your days are numbered. I have seen the way of the future and it’s name is BUNN! No more pacing back and forth while my coffee maker struggles to produce that dark nectar that sustains me in the wee hours of the morning. No more shaking my fist at the heavens and doing the equivalent of a tribal war dance around my kitchen while swearing profusely at the evil, vile hunk of plastic known as my coffee maker. You are SO outta here! Meet your replacement you worthless piece of Crap!


See how sleek and fast it looks? It will run SO silently, not the obnoxious whirhoo…whirhoo…whirhoo that you go through every-time you struggle to put out a pot of freakin coffee. And by the way I just wanted to let you know that half an hour is TOO long to make one pot of freaking coffee! Oh and another thing…I wont have to clean the Bunn twice a month to keep it going either you poor excuse of a coffee maker. I mean for cripe sake you’re only 6 months old and you act like you’re ready to be re-manufactured…Oh yes, your days are numbered biotch!


18 responses to “I’M GETTING A BUNN!

  1. Oooh! That sure is perty. And, and unbreakable pot! Coffee pots don’t like me. They often shatter when I try to wash them.

  2. I know Freddie I like the unbreakable part too…I’ve broken my share of carafes in the past. Plus my coffee pot takes forever to brew a stinking pot of coffee, and in the morning I need my coffee FAST!

  3. I love the Bunn. I can’t imagine having coffee without it. The coffee taste’s better because the storage area for the water is stainless steel – not plastic – but you still have to de-lime it about once a month, and it does make a little noise when it is heating up the water it stores…

    But they sure are nice.

  4. Hey, that looks like my friggin’ coffee maker! You are SO going to love having a Bunn. I think it makes a pot in about 2 minutes.

  5. The ad said 3 minutes, but either way it’s a hell of a lot quicker than the half an hour mine takes…that’s no exageration either. I hate my stupid freakin coffee maker!

  6. Once you have discovered the way of the Bunn, you can never go back.

  7. The way of the Bunn? LOLOL

  8. Not bad. I use a 30-year old 3-piece aluminum drip pot and boil my water in a teapot with a whistle because it makes the dogs howl. No filters; coffee’s gotta have tooth. And no washing of the coffee cup either; if you can tell the original color of the inside of the mug, it ain’t seasoned enough.

  9. And any blend that’s not dark roast or full of chicory is for wusses.

  10. I still have some chicory coffee from Cafe Dumonde from before the Hurricane.

  11. Get a load of this. My girlfriend, Mary, has never even drunk a cuppa coffee. How screwed up is that?

    I have a Cuisinart coffee maker. I like it, but it drips when you pour. What I really like about it is, it has my coffee made for me in the morning when I wake up. None of this 2 minute crap.

  12. I used to have a Cuisinast that did the same thing. I called it the “Coffee Curse”…

    Kinda like the “Kitchen Curse” – the one that says, “No matter what kind of ice you are getting from the freezer, at least one piece will end up on the floor”.

  13. Tony…it sounds like Mary needs a trip to Starbucks! Start her out with a frappuccino mmmmm.

    JT…the “kitchen curse” would describe my current coffee maker perfectly, or as I refer to it “the coffee maker from hell”.

  14. Fester – 30 year old pot…no filter…not washing your cup?!?!? My Gawd you are hard core!

  15. Nah, when I was a kid in south Louisiana, my grandma would boil water in one of the old pots that had nothing but a handle, spout and lid. She’d get the water boiling and dump nearly a cup of coffee grounds cut with chicory in it, let it boil for another couple of minutes then take it off the heat. After letting it sit for another five minutes, she’d put a pinch of salt in it to make the grounds sink to the bottom.

    Hell of a cup of coffee. Just thinking about it makes my teeth hurt.

    It’s probably why she had a hairy chest…

  16. Cafe Dumonde! I remember when it was the Morning Call. My uncle used to take me there early on Saturday mornings for holeless doughnuts and we’d amuse ourselves sitting out in front of the Cabildo by watching the drunks get rolled under Jackson’s statue.

    ::sigh:: Great times, great times…

  17. The last time I was there it was night and we had to fight the roaches for a place to sit on the wall, but it still was an awesome place lol.

  18. Pingback: GOLDBLOOM’S PADDED CELL » Blog Archive » My Weekend

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