10. This is your captain speaking and I don’t feel that life is worth living anymore.
09. We’re cruising at an altitude of…ah, hell, I don’t know.
08. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
07. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!….JUST KIDDING!
06. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep ’em coming!
05. This is…uh…this is…uh…your…hmmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
04. Passengers on the left side of the plane — does that engine sound funny to you?
03. Welcome aboard flight 109 — you bunch of jerks!
02. Good God, Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops — is the intercom on?
01. We’ll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or the other.