A Hillary Joke

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t – the aged bovine was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

“What happened to you,” asked Hillary? “Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me!”

“My God, what did you tell them?” asked Hillary.

The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it !!

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15 responses to “A Hillary Joke

  1. Ok, now THAT was a good one! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

    By the way, what’s with the farm animals today? LOL.

  2. I guess farm animals are the latest rage!

  3. That is such Bull S***! HA HA. I can’t stop making animal jokes today. I need the nearest 12 step program, I tell ya.

  4. Picking Up a Bull

    Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

    The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

    Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

    The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

    She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

    The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”

    Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.

    After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”

    The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

    The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slow.”

  5. Jewish guy dies. Sadly, his wife calls the newspaper and says, “I’d like to place an obituary.” The obit guys says, “Ok, how would you like for it to read?” “Goldstein Dies,” replies the widow. “Ma’am…we have a five word minimum,” obit guys says. “Ok then,” says the lady…”Hows about, Goldstein dies, Cadillac for sale!”

  6. LOL Tony…I’m surprised you didn’t change the name to Goldbloom. 🙂

  7. I can’t take all this hilarity in the morning. Note to self: read Goldbloom in the evening.

  8. hehehe…great jokes! Now I’m going to have to go off and think of one.

  9. Heard about the Japanese-Jewish restaraurant? It’s called “Sosumi”.

  10. A man sitting next to a woman on a plane notices her very large diamond ring. He says, “Excuse me for being nosy, but the diamond on your ring is enormous. Is it a famous diamond?”

    “Yes,” she says. “It’s the Klopman Diamond.”

    “Wow, it’s magnificent. I know a lot of large, famous diamonds like the Hope diamond come with a curse. Did this diamond come with a curse?”

    “Yes,” she says. “Mr. Klopman.”

  11. Great cow joke! and great comment jokes! Keep ’em coming!

  12. Heh.

    Say, what’s with the googly eyes in your title?

  13. Fester…it’s all a part of the “padded cell” theme! LOL

  14. Ah.

    Well, it fits…

    It reminds me of the old song “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!”

  15. Shhh they might hear you fester.

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