My Spider-Ridden Garage

Have I told you before that my garage is a haven for homeless spiders. I’ve tried to evict them, but they don’t pay me no-never-mind. I’ve even knocked down their webs, sprayed the garage with pesticides, smashed the living sh!t out of hundreds of them, yet they persist in staying. I just walked out in my garage and I found this waiting for me, I think his name is cousin Guido and he’s come to seek revenge for his smashed ancestors.


I looked it up on the Internet and discovered that it was a Hobo spider. I thought hobos liked to roam around, but these guys aren’t roaming. Here’s a clearer pic of one.


I also found this pic which shows what one of their bites can do to a person.


Now I’m even more determined to get those b@stards out of my garage! Any Ideas?


25 responses to “My Spider-Ridden Garage

  1. Well after I change my pants from looking at the pictures I’ll come back and discuss it with you.

  2. Gasoline and a match seems to rid a garage of spiders. Of course the garage is gone too.

    Wonder if setting of some kind of bug bomb would work? I suggest finding a Farm Bureau Co-op and asking those guys. Maybe even a mom and pop hardware store…someone other then a big chain store like Menards or Lowe’s.

  3. Well that would be my problem, I’ve been going to menards.

  4. Yet one more reason for me to really hate spiders….look at that wound! My God! How big is he anyway?

  5. Just burning the garage won’t work. You have to burn the house too. And the neighbors houses as well. Like snakes, spiders are evil and will come back out of spite. Plow salt into the ground. Move. Spider problem fixed.

    Do not waste time dealing with so called experts — You have questions, I have answers.

  6. Michelle……Oh Double damn, I went to go get measurements on the danged thing and as I stepped through the garage door I walked right through a web. YUUUUCK! I’m still creeping out here and the hair on the back of my neck is still standing up. I swear there is a spider on me somewhere! Then to top it off I couldn’t get the booger to hold still long enough for me to measure him. J/K I would est. he is about 1 1/4 inches long by 1 inch wide. When it comes to spiders, size does matter!

    HB….LOL I will no longer waste my time with the experts, thanks for opening my eyes to the solution to my problem.

  7. I agree with HB—experts don’t know nuthing. It’s a DIY. Let me see if I have some kerosene in my purse I can lend you…..BRB.

  8. P.S. I just know I’m going to dream about that damn spider…ICK!!!! I don’t care if they eat insects—they creep me out. Almost as much as snakes.

  9. I think I’ll name him George!

  10. He looks like a Fester to me….LOL.

  11. You don’t really have a problem until the spider catches that mouse. Then you’ll have a REAL issues. When I was a teen, I worked for a summer in Florida. They have spiders that build webs between the trees, across the streets!!! No sh!t, about 14-20′ wide and 10′ tall (web that is) spider was about the size of your hand…

    If you hate them so much name it JK, not George.

    PS: JK = John Kerry

  12. (in my best Cliff Claven voice) I don’t know much Spanish, but, I do know about spiders. That’s not a Hobo Spider. The Hobo Spider is a member of the Brown Recluse family. They’re indigenous to the South and Southeast part of the U.S.

    That looks like a common field spider to me. They’re mouths are too small to inflict pain to humans.

  13. Oh…and I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  14. frothingatlemouse

    Sorta wolf spidery or grass spidery looking. They can indeed bite the shit outta you.
    However, although I had some spiders in the shower, really, I did, I wish I hadn’t kilt them because we got mosquitoes in there now and they CAN kill ya around here.

    Bugs SUCK.

  15. Yes, fumigate!! or MOVE! 🙂
    Be careful out there!

  16. A wolf spider is the kind that was on my towel once and when I got soap in my eyes while showering, I reached my hand out and the MOFO CLIMBED UP MY ARM!! ughhh

  17. A few weeks ago on Post Secrets there was a postcard from someone confessing that he had put a spider in his sister’s bed when he was 12 not knowing it was a hobo spider, and she ended up losing part of a leg! I’m with Janet: Napalm! Or go nuclear, either one.

  18. OMG Sparrow that’s awful, can you imagine how that boy feels.

  19. Take a lizard as a pet. They eat spiders and flies. Or use insect-reppelant.

  20. Spiders are tough. Bug bombs might work. I’ve got an infestation of them too but I’ve learned to co-exist and let them eat the bugs that come in from outside.

  21. I’d like to know where hobo spiders are most commonly found.

  22. i keep finding these pets all over my house, after being bitten and poisend by one, being sick for days and feeling like I was going to die….

    sticky traps seems to work best and help u find where the numbers are…

    i cant bring myself to kill them, that could mean war…

  23. Sorry to say, but it is NOT a Hobo Spider, it is most likely a common house spider or domestic house spider, WHICH KILL HOBO SPIDERS. Check out the information on this site

    The way you can tell from this picture alone is essentially its penis. That long projection coming out of its backside. Look at page 5 of the site I posted and you will find it’s NOT a hobo. Keep them around, they aren’t that bad.

  24. Accept the spiders and know peace.

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