Christmas Spirit

Where can a person get some Christmas spirit around here? What’s a person gotta do to get some Christmas Cheer? I’ve searched high and low for the spirit and have come up empty handed. I even tried to buy some on ebay but was outbid by some bozo at the last second. The vicious bastard deprived me of my holiday spirit! So I quickly shot him an email that simply stated “hohoho Merry F-ing Christmas Dumb-ass!  I hope you choke on your friggin Holiday spirit buddy!”

I then ambled through amazon, but the only Christmas cheer available was all used and haggard…it would surely be defective. Bah!

Well there was no more putting it off, Even though I was devoid of any Holiday cheer it was time to set up our family Christmas tree. Our tree is of the artificial variety so therefore we must fluff our branches in order to make it look as if we just climbed Mt. Everest and cut down the beauty ourselves. Unfortunately when one is devoid of Holiday cheer one can only fluff so long before going mad and pouncing on said tree, and wrestling it to the ground. I’ve learned something very important this year though…it isn’t wise to wrestle one’s artificial tree to the ground and engage it in mortal combat lest you end up with an artificial branch sticking from your chest….OOOOWWEEE!

Then of course after you’ve beaten the tree into submission it is time to string the lights on the tree….And of course none of the sons-a-bitches work!!! So I head on down to our local Meijer to buy replacement bulbs which of course don’t work either. So then I head on back to meijer and just buy ALL NEW LIGHTS….HAHAHA take that you evil mojo which has been plaguing me all day. It’s okay, I’m okay, Really…move along people there’s nothing to see here.

Well the freakin Christmas tree was finally finished and we had our celebratory eggnog without any more mishaps. Oh and I finally found my Christmas spirit….All 90 proof. Heh!


28 responses to “Christmas Spirit

  1. I once had an 8 foot natural tree attack me when I was sleeping.

    The cheap plastic stand came apart and I was trapped under a mound of pine needles, and broken ornaments.

    I’m glad you found your christmas spirit. I’m going to need a big ole jug o spirit this year when dealing with my crazy in-laws

  2. rofl…I’d have paid good money to see you wrestling that tree wench! I was going to put mine up today but thankfully I took a nap instead. I can never get fully into the Christmas spirit here because we’re never actually here for Christmas. If it wasn’t for that I’d have a lit up Santa and reindeer on the roof, cover my yard in fakes snow and have dancing penguins coming out of my butt. ahem…merry Christmas

  3. We have fake trees too… allergies to pine. Unfortunately for my two children afflicted with said allergies, we didn’t discover that was the problem until they’d sneezed, hacked and coughed up a long every Christmas for several years. Here’s hoping I outlive them or my retirement home will be a cage in their basement!

  4. woops, replace “long” with “lung”…sounds darn near pornographic…

  5. We have a fake tree because of allergies,, too. For the past few years, i’ve had my daughters put it together because it gets on my nerves. When she moves out, I don’t know what i’m gonna do.

    And re; your comment on my blog, YES, you will find your christmas spirit in 90 proof! Hell yes, I’ll join ya!!! LOL

    I’m in the mood this year, I have no idea why. For almost 5 years running, I wasn’t in the mood for xmas at all. seriously. It’s not Dec 1 yet, so we’ll see how long the mood lasts.

    And it’s hard to get in the spirit when its hot and sunny outide. yech.

  6. At least you had the decency to wait until after thanksgiving. And, btw, maybe you can help me understand why my little bride has me get all 4,697 boxes of Christmas decorations out of the attic and then goes and buys $600 worth of new ones. I have filed this conundrum with trigonometry as as just plain incomprehensible.

  7. I’m with Laura. (well, other than the fact that we’re both Floridians). I’m finally into the Christmas spirit this year. I can’t fib…I know why too! My whole family, including my daughter Alissa will be here. Everyone! I just can’t wait.

  8. Haha! That 90 proof is enough to put Ebeneezer Scrooge into the Christmas Spirit! Way to go!

    I’ve been in the holdiay spirit since before Halloween. I started listening to Christmas music thanks to CD’s in mid-October. I listen to the holiday favorites 8 hours a day at work. House has been totally decorated since a week and a half before Thanksgiving, and we aren’t talking about just a tree. It takes a full week to get all the decorations in order for the Christmas Wonderland inside my house. I’m going to take a video (still pictures won’t work…half the decorations are animated!) and post it one of these days.

    This is my favorite time of the year! I LOVE Christmas!

    ….now, If I could just talk someone into doing my Christmas shopping for me, it really, truly would be the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! 🙂

    Merry Christmas to you and yours, Mrsjosegoldbloom!!!

  9. Goldbloom, ever mess around with Macromedia Flash? Lemme know if you want it. By the way…take a look at my Hammer Photo Contest Entry right here

  10. What IS it with you and Charlie Brown? LOL. Seriously though, I was just thinking the same thing about Christmas spirit and where a girl could get some….meet you, DL and Tony at the party store in five…HIC!

  11. I got my monster up. Gawd I hate having to put it up. I have been thinking about getting a pre-lit tree. I hate putting lights on. It never fails…I get the lights on the tree and then they decide not to work. I hate it……….

  12. Tony that was a cute entry…I’m working on mine, but I don’t have it ready to preview yet.

  13. Michelle…I started without you guys…hehehe.

  14. 90 proof. That’s probably a good place to start if you need the spirit, like, right now. I probably don’t need to recommend that you start your search with that jumping off point in the future also.

  15. preview, hell…that’s all I got

  16. One of these days, I’ll only have a single (but classy) advent wreath instead of a tree. And the only presents I’ll give will be homebaked goodies. I’m tired of the commercial paradigm and want to rediscover this holiday. Anybody with me?

  17. ROTFL!! The weather man says our Christmas Spirit (for me anyway) could be here Thursday. Might get snow, like inches… I do so hope. Nothing like walking down a trail deep in the woods with fresh snow all around to put me in the spirit. But if the snow doesn’t make it, I’ll take some of the 90 proof too.

    BTW – we have a fake tree too, I hate it. Hope to get it up tomorrow.

  18. I love the smell of real trees but they are a major pain in the ass. I don’t like picking needles out of my socks or feet.

  19. Or finding needles 6 months later when you least expect it! But, alas, I like a real tree too, even if they are a pain. Makes it seem more festive somehow (I think I feel that way because when I was growing up we had a fake tree every year).

  20. OT — Mrs. J.G., here’s an article that may amuse you!

    Il Kim say: WTF? You no gimme moosic? I bomb you butt, you wascals!!

  21. Oh where, oh where has our Goldy-bloom gone? Oh where, oh where can she be?

    Hope ever’ding’s ok…

  22. I think she’s somewhere getting goofy on eggnog without us!

  23. Try this link . . .Here is a lot for Christmas . . .

  24. My mom and I used to have fights every year because she didn’t like the way I put the lights on the tree, and I hated putting the damn lights on it in the first place. Finally we got a fake tree with lights already strung, I just set it up and plug it in-no fights and no cursing. It kind of took all the fun out of it, but I’ll never go back.

  25. Bah Humbug. I don’t have any 90 proof cheerfulness here at work. I should though – it would be more entertaining.

    I love Christmas, but by the time it comes around, I get sooo tired of the commercialism of it all. But the lights, chilly weather, decorations and the excited faces of little kids just melts the ice running through my veins. 😀

    Merry Christmas!!

  26. Bah. Humbug.

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