Customer Service Is A Four Letter Word!

This was something I wrote my first month of blogging and I’m reposting it for Dragon & Michelle. Hope you enjoy it. 

There is nothing quite like dealing with an angry customer. Especially when that person is a f___king, S_nofa_itc__ing, G__dam__ed, A__hole . You envision yourself jumping across the counter and putting the vulcan death grip on their larynx to stifle their perpetual bitching, but you stand there smiling and nodding your head in agreement. Your head is spinning from the non-stop stream of BLAH coming from their mouth. You just want to say, “excuse me don’t you think it’s time to visit your proctologist and have whatever it is causing you to behave this way removed from your big fat arse!”. Yet you find yourself saying, “I’m sorry ma’am I’ll see what I can do for you.”. Finally you think you’re going to even the score a little bit when they want you to go against company policy just for THEM, and you say “sorry I can’t do that for you ma’am it’s against our policy”. But NOOOO, now they want to speak to someone above you…that someone who told you ” We’ll never budge on this policy”. Guess what they budge, and the big f___king, A__hole who needs to see a proctologist walks away feeling happy as a clam. You on the other hand need a Valium, and a Mike’s hard lemonade!


11 responses to “Customer Service Is A Four Letter Word!

  1. Can I get that printed up on a plaque somewhere? LOL. Only $9.99, right?

    Actually, that first sentence sounded like my rant while driving this morning amidst all the STUPID IDIOT DRIVERS I was driving alongside of. No, I don’t have road rage, nosiree!!!!!

  2. wow, you’re back…

    welcome back!

  3. weird, my first post ever was about idiot drivers too. Go figure.

  4. If I remember correctly, my first post was a rant about what happened to rock and roll.

  5. My nephew works customer service and he has weak managers that give in to the most obscenely ridiculous customer demands.

    Why have policies when they won’t be adhered to?

    Good rant!

  6. My background is in customer service and sales. I often resort to the Mr Asshole personna to get what I want becasue I know it works.

    yet when I was a Customer Service Manager I ALWAYS backed up my employees, even when they were wrong.

  7. I’ve been there too. Some children’s parents… sheesh.

    I delivered pizzas for over a year. I didn’t make them, I just delivered but if it was wrong, whose fault was it, who took the verbal abuse… me. The guy that works for tips… Fun times.

  8. Had to go back and check. My first post was an update about Dazd after his heart attack…

  9. You expect me to be satisfied with a rerun? Humph. I’m gonna come over there and break your vacuum cleaner.

  10. When I had my retail stores I figured my customer s were always right..until I toe danced the rude sumbitches out the door and told them never to come back, And then they were not customers anymore anyway..

    I found that the rude customer who wants something for nothing is not really a customer..a customer is one who wants to pay for what they get. The definition of a good deal is when both parties are satisfied..and damn if I would lose money for anybody.

  11. MAN Janet…if you broke my vacuum cleaner that would really suck! 🙂

    Hammer…When I was in management I always backed my employees when they were following company policy.

    DNR …. Are you having a rough day? LOL

    GuyK… I agree with you whole heartedly. That type of person is the kind businesses lose money on, so who needs them.

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