Ode to Pork

I see you in the showcase
You’re calling out to me
You’re such a lovely color
and your rump is nice and lean

Oh pork I want to bite you
and chew you up real slow
Savor your lovely flavor
Once you’ve been cooked just so

But the Doctor says you’re history
I must stay away from your kind
Now my life is full of misery
I’ve had to say bye-bye!

Okay, I’m okay…really! I’m just ransacking the place trying to find something decent to eat. I would love to fry up some bacon, but those days are gone. Now I must settle for this lousy bowl of oatmeal & a piece of toast. I suppose I’ll get used to it, but I don’t want to…Stupid Cholesterol! 

I was actually supposed to start watching my cholesterol last year when my level was at 210. The Doctor said with my family history my cholesterol level should be 175 or lower. He then gave me a year to bring it down with diet & exercise or he said we would have to take different avenues to bring it down (lipitor).

Well the year went by and my level was at 228 this time. WHAT, I really thought I could will my cholesterol down with my super mind powers! So I guess I didn’t take the diet seriously enough, and I kind of stopped doing the treadmill thingy. The doc must have forgotten about the Lipitor, because all he said was I really needed to start watching my diet and get some exercise. I wasn’t about to remind him, because I looked up Lipitor and it has some scary side effects. Sooo I decided I needed to start doing a better job at lowering my cholesterol and I finally eliminated the pork from my diet. I still have ham occasionally, but not very often. I also had to go to 2% milk, low-fat creamer, low-fat yogurt, etc.. Now I just need to start working on the exercise part, but who’s got time for that?


21 responses to “Ode to Pork

  1. Can you drown the oatmeal in butter? I’m guessing not…

    Good luck!

  2. I wish I could drown my oatmeal in BACON!

  3. I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will…

  4. Dang you JT! You must teach me how to do this.

  5. You were supposed to ask me “Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?” so I could reply “So I can lower it…”

    Don’t you watch The Office?

  6. Oh man I messed up the routine. Okay let me try again.

    Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?

  7. No reason, really…

  8. I don’t have a cholesterol problem but I do have to watch what I eat very closely because of diabetes. The fat meat such as bacon doesn’t run up my blood sugar but it puts the weight on me that does run up the blood sugar. Just call me a greenie because I seem to have to live on that green stuff like green beans and greens and lettuce and such. Damn.

  9. My cholesteraol was 100 and the doctor tried to put me on lipitor. I asked him “uhh isn’t 100 good?” He said he likes 70 better.

    I refused the medicine because you have to take it the rest of your life and it damages your liver.

    Good luck with the diet, I’m trying one too.

  10. Guy: I love the green stuff too, but it figures my favorite meat ends up being the worst for me…why couldn’t it have been chicken that I had to give up.

    Hammer: is the 100 your total cholesterol? Or is it your LDL level? I was told that for the average person anything under 200 (total ) was good. Diets suck!

  11. Well have a heart attack and anything above 50 is unacceptable. and that’s the 50 average total…not specifically LDL or HDL.

    And I was on Lipitor 7 years ago and within 6 months through proper dieting I was able to maintain acceptable levels. No Lipitor until recently.

    Then I had a brain fart and jumped off the diet bandwagon…stupid me.

  12. Dazd you’re not stupid, just human.

    My problem is that I’ve always had a fast metabolism and never had to watch what I eat, so I guess the bad eating habits are catching up with me. I also used to be very physically active, but not for the last several years…unless you count walking the dogs.

  13. Last time I had mine checked it was high, higher than anybody’s posted so far. I’d guess that was 5 years ago. I’d hate to see it now.

    I know Dazd, I know. I should diet and exercise…

  14. PS: Thanks for the post on the PRG site.

  15. Or maybe it’s MrDragon!

  16. DNR: What dazd said “diet & exercise” hey come on I don’t want to be the only one suffering.

  17. low fat creamer? Are you freaking kidding me? I would rather be dead than not have 1/2 and 1/2 in my coffee. Your doctor can kiss my entire ass.

  18. LOL Tony it WAS hard giving up the creamer. Actually you sound like me when it came to the milk…I was supposed to cut down to 1% or skim, but I refused, 2% is as low as I’ll go. I was like “hey doc ya gotta leave me something!”.

  19. Pingback: Basil's Blog » Blog Archive » Blogrolling 2007-04-18

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