It’s all about the crab

Okay after Dragon’s incessant talk of the crab incident yesterday I figured I may as well tell the story (although it really isn’t much of a story), So in honor of Dragon todays post is all about crabs!

My Crab story

I was in the 8th grade when the dreaded crab incident took place, It happened in biology class during the final exam. I was deep in thought pondering a tough question when I sensed movement on my lap. “What the hell” I thought and upon looking down I found myself staring into the demonic little eyes of a hideous creature. It just lay there staring up at me….OMG  the horror!


I immediately let out a blood curdling scream and threw the sucker straight into the air. Of course that scared the crap out of everyone else in the room including the teacher, and I was scolded for my stunt (ME!). Like I put the friggin crab in my own lap!!! As the class settled down and everyone continued with their testing I looked over at Bobby B. (my science partner) and he was smiling the smile of the guilty! Oh I would SO get revenge!

Douglas the Crab

Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears. “We can’t see each other anymore .” she sobbed. “Why ?” gasped Douglas . “Daddy says that crabs are too common,” she wailed. “He claims you are a mere crab; a poor one at that and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways.” Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sideward’s away into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion. That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father’s side, inconsolable. Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the floor….and all could see that he was walking, not sideways … But FORWARDS . Yes FORWARDS! One claw after another !!! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush . Finally, Douglas spoke ……… “I am soooo wasted.”

Where do you find a crab with no legs?…Exactly where you left it.




1   slightly beaten egg

1/2  cup plain low-fat yogurt

2  tablespoons light mayonnaise or salad dressing

1  tablespoon snipped fresh parsley

2  teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

1  teaspoon prepared mustard

1/4  teaspoon paprika

1/8  teaspoon pepper

1  pound crabmeat, drained, flaked, and cartilage removed

1/4  cup finely crushed saltine crackers

  Nonstick spray coating

1   medium tomato, sliced

  Lemon wedges (optional)


1. In a medium mixing bowl combine egg, 1/4 cup of the yogurt, the mayonnaise or salad dressing, parsley, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, paprika, and pepper. Stir in crabmeat and crushed crackers. 

2. Shape crab mixture into five 3-inch patties. 

3. Spray a shallow baking pan with nonstick spray coating. Arrange patties in pan. Broil 4 to 6 inches from the heat for 10 to 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Do not turn patties during broiling. 

4. Serve crab cakes on tomato slices with remaining yogurt. Garnish with lemon wedges, if desired. Makes 5 main-dish servings. 

Make-Ahead Tip: Prepare crab patties; cover and chill up to 8 hours. Broil as above. 


13 responses to “It’s all about the crab

  1. I’ve seen that crab somewhere before…looks strangely familiar.

  2. Yes…it’s called a “Hag Crab”. 🙂

  3. Oh yes… You are most definitely “BACK”.

    Another great post!

    “Hag Crab”… (Uhh… No, Dragon… I wasn’t lmao. Nuh-uh. Not me.)

  4. I would probably scream like an 8 year old girl if I looked down and saw a crab in my lap 🙂

  5. A Hag Crab…man-o-man! I’m sure glad there’s not many around here.

    What does a Hag Crab eat?

  6. You know GB, even amongst the angst and the (B)Gloom, I knew you would be back, crabs and all.
    Me and you have left to many deposists around.
    We have to recover a veneer of that, at least.
    GO Girl GO.
    Crabs make great bait.

  7. Freddie…I won’t tell drags. 🙂

    Hammer…My Bio teacher screamed like an 8 year old girl, I think that’s why I got in trouble…hehehe.

    Dazd…Hag crabs eat a lot of crow.

    Kees…Deposits? Is that why this place has a funny smell to it?

  8. dragonlady474

    I was the crab huh?
    While I was down there I should have bit you!

    Just remember sister dear, paybacks are a mother. 🙂

  9. Maaaan Drags….no need to get sooo crabby! 🙂

  10. Girl, I’m so glad you’re back with the funny!

    Speaking of crabs, Mary and I have been watching The Deadliest Catch almost every stinking night. If for no other reason, it’s because Mary loves Mike Rowe. Dirty Jobs would be her other favorite show. Women.

  11. frothingatlemouse

    Welcome back Mrs. JGB! Whoo hoo! Crabs in your crotch. Hmmm.

  12. Tony…I love that show Dirty jobs, and Mike Rowe is great. Have you seen the time he went to the monkey rescue place in Africa? That was a very funny episode.

    Froth…I’m just glad the crab didn’t hit the teacher when I tossed it in the air. Hmmm Tossed crab sounds like a recipe.

  13. That is a great story!!!! So, whatever DID happen to ole Bobby? Let me guess—he’s now Roberta?? LOL

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