Michelle…This post is in your honor!

Banana Jokes:

Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas?
A: They can’t find the zipper.

Q: What kind of bananas are never bright?
A: Dole bananas!

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well

Two bananas are laying on the bank of a river. A turd floats by and says, “Come on in! The water’s fine!” One banana turns to the other and says, “You believe that shit?!”

Banana facts:

  • A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are known as fingers.
  • As bananas ripen, the starch in the fruit turns to sugar. Therefore, the riper the banana the sweeter it will taste.
  • Banana plants are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem. They are actually giant herbs of the same family as lilies, orchids and palms.
  • Bananas are available all year-round. They are harvested every day of the year.
  • Bananas are great for athletic and fitness activity because they replenish necessary carbohydrates, glycogen and body fluids burned during exercise.
  • Bananas are not grown commercially in the continental United States. They are grown in Latin and South America from countries like Costa Rica, Ecuador, Colombia, Honduras, Panama and Guatemala.
  • Bananas are one of the few fruits that ripen best off the plant. If left on the plant, the fruit splits open and the pulp has a “cottony” texture and flavor. Even in tropical growing areas, bananas for domestic consumption are cut green and stored in moist shady places to ripen slowly.
  • Bananas are perennial crops that are grown and harvested year-round. The banana plant does not grow from a seed but rather from a rhizome or bulb. Each fleshy bulb will sprout new shoots year after year.
  • Bananas were officially introduced to the American public at the 1876 Philadelphia Centennial Exhibition. Each banana was wrapped in foil and sold for 10 cents. Before that time, bananas came to America on the decks of sailing ships as sailors took a few stems home after traveling in the Caribbean.
  • Each banana plant bears only one stem of fruit. To produce a new stem, only two shoots – known as the daughter and the granddaughter – are allowed to grow and be cultivated from the main plant.
  • In 1516, Friar Tomas sailed to the Caribbean bringing banana roots with him; and planted bananas in the rich, fertile soil of the tropics, thus beginning the banana’s future in American life.
  • In 2001, there were more than 300 banana-related accidents in Britain, most involving people slipping on skins.
  • In Eastern Africa you can buy banana beer. This beer is brewed from bananas.
  • In some lands bananas were considered the principal food. Early travelers and settlers would carry the roots of the plant as they migrated to the Middle East and Africa. From there Portuguese traders carried banana roots to the Canary Islands, where bananas are still grown commercially.
  • In South East Asia, the banana leaf is used to wrap food (in the place of plastic bags and cling wraps), providing a unique flavor and aroma to nasi lemak and the Indian banana leaf rice.
  • India is by far the largest world producer of bananas, growing 16.5 million tonnes in 2002, followed by Brazil which produced 6.5 million tonnes of bananas in 2002. To the Indians, the flower from the banana tree is sacred. During religious and important ceremonies such as weddings, banana flowers are tied around the head, for they believe this will bring good luck.
  • Some horticulturists suspect that the banana was the earth’s first fruit. Banana plants have been in cultivation since the time of recorded history. One of the first records of bananas dates back to Alexander the Great’s conquest of India where he first discovered bananas in 327 B.C.
  • The average American consumes over 28 pounds of bananas each year.
  • The banana plant reaches its full height of 15 to 30 feet in about one year. The trunk of a banana plant is made of sheaths of overlapping leaves, tightly wrapped around each other like celery stalks.
  • The origin of bananas is traced back to the Malaysian jungles of Southeast Asia, where so many varieties and names for the banana are in that area.
  • The word ‘banan’ is Arabic for finger.
  • There are more than 500 varieties of banana in the world: The most common kinds are Dwarf Cavendish, Valery, and Williams Hybrid bananas. Other types of bananas include Apple and a small red banana called the Red Jamaica. A large type of banana called the plantain is hard and starchy and is almost eaten as a cooked vegetable. The Cavendish is the most common variety of bananas now imported to the United States. The Cavendish is a shorter, stubbier plant than earlier varieties. It was developed to resist plant diseases, insects and windstorms better than its predecessors. The Cavendish fruit is of medium size, has a creamier, smooth texture, and a thinner peel than earlier varieties.
  • There is no such thing as a banana tree. Bananas grow on plants.

 

 

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24 responses to “Michelle…This post is in your honor!

  1. Fascinating!

    I love those jokes too.

  2. Hammer: Aren’t those jokes lovely? I especially like the one about the 2 bananas on the river bank. LOL

    MrD: I soooo have to get one of those for Drags.

  3. hahaha Love the jokes!

  4. Dazd: Doesn’t Drags make an especially lovely banana????? 🙂

  5. LOVE the pic on the banana itself….waiting for Dragon’s retalation any moment now, any moment…

    That was GREAT!

  6. I don’t believe that shit.

    Can’t stand naners. Yuck!! Funny jokes though.

  7. dragonlady474

    I always knew I was the top banana! 🙂

  8. Michelle: We know with dragon there WILL be a retaliation.

    DNR: I love banana’s (ok shut up drags)

    Drags: Yes but your banana slid off the sundae a long time ago! 🙂

  9. LOL.

  10. I love that pic of Drags sooo much I just made it my desktop….ROFLMAO!

  11. Oh God. I can just imagine what you’ve done with it.

  12. I’ll just say I’m having more fun than anyone should every have with a banana picture.

  13. I always come in here with a comment in mind, but by the time I finish reading all the comments I’m laughing so hard I’ve forgotten what it was.

    I liked the river bank joke best too.

    Now… Gotta go find someone to give the banan to.

  14. dragonlady474

    Bananas may come, and bananas may go.
    But sisters will screw with you forever.

  15. Amen to that sista drags!

  16. dragonlady474

    That is MRS. Banana Drags to you!

  17. How about Mrs. Banana Biotch! 🙂

  18. dragonlady474

    ORRR…Mrs. Banana Bite Me Goldbloom?

  19. Freddie..I feel the same way! LOL.

  20. dragonlady474

    (cartman voice) Screw you guys, I’m going home!

  21. In Malaysia, we used bananas in many ways.

    The ripe ones we eat fresh.
    The green ones or unripe ones specially grown for cooking is called Pisang Tanduk. It is about a foot long and we cooked green curries with them. Taste yummy!

    Pearly

  22. You remind me of me and my sisters. It cracks me up.

  23. Pearl: Thanks for stopping by.

    Becky: Yep sisters are great until they get into your closet.

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