Category Archives: Jokes

In the beginning…

In the beginning was the Plan.
And the Plan was without substance.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.

And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and it stinks.”

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of dung, and we can’t live with the smell.”

And the supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.” And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.” And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigour of the company with very powerful effects.”

And the President looked upon the Plan and declared that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.

And this is how Shit happens…

A Hillary Joke

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn’t – the aged bovine was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls to lobbyists.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

“What happened to you,” asked Hillary? “Well,” the driver replied, “the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me!”

“My God, what did you tell them?” asked Hillary.

The driver replied, “I just stepped inside the door and said, I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver and I’ve just killed the old cow. The rest happened so fast I couldn’t stop it !!